What happens when your stiff arm, the telescoping travel golf essential with the mini-umbrella top that keeps your clubs from snapping in transit snaps? I was in Crossville TN on a Fairfield Glade Resort bender playing Heatherhurst, Druid Hills, Dorchester and Stonehenge—the courses that make up the Fairfield Glade resort when the calamity struck. After striking out at the local sports stores searching for a replacement, undeterred I headed to an Ace Hardware to see if they could perform some stiff-arm CPR. The plastic head had broken off and the screw connecting it to the pole had gone AWOL but I figured another bolt could do the trick.
The bolt aisle was a bust. None had the right head size to facilitate the reconnection with the top. Danny, the employee who was helping me out was about to shrug his shoulders and call it a day when I had an idea. We could perform simple lobotomy on the remains of the umbrella head by poking a hole in the top and going in that way. Intrigued, Danny flicked open a pocket knife to slice into the hard plastic but it’s thick and tough and couldn’t make any headway. Undeterred Danny resourcefully grabbed a hammer and pounded on the back end of a screwdriver, poking out a divot. My stiff arm was back in business and the total bill came to just eighty-nine cents.