A Passage in 'Stick a Fork in Me', One-Liner Master Dan Jenkins' Latest Romp Got Us Thinking of Ways to Croak on a Golf Course
Currently happily plowing through sports scribe extraordinaire Dan Jenkins’ latest romp, Stick A Fork in Me where a griseled College Athletic Director looks back on all the crazy and colorful experiences he had coaching college football and navigating University politics as an AD. There’s a hilarious bit about a golfer who met his maker after hitting a ball into the drink by the eighteenth green and then jumping in after it: “that’s when his foot got tangled with other clubs lying on the bottom, having suffered the same punishment for betraying their owners. Dub couldn’t pull himself loose and drowned while his playing partners were lining their putts on the green. Nobody knew he drowned until his straw hat floated to the top of the pond.”
Drinking Arnold Palmers and their booze infused cousin, a John Daly, have been 19th hole libations for decades but Dixie Southern Vodka, a Charleston, South Carolina based craft distiller is upping the ante on golfer tipples. Their smooth sipping product is 6x distilled from non-GMO American corn before the remaining impurities are purged in their TerraPURE process. Along with plain, it also comes in all-natural mint and black pepper flavors. Try their Clubhouse Cooler which is vying to move up the golf cocktail leaderboard and find its way into the mix at Masters parties. But with the Phoenix Open, aka the Greatest Show on Grass, upon upon us, why wait till then to give this drink a whirl?
The Clubhouse Cooler
1 bottle Dixie Mint Vodka
4 cups of lemonade
4 cups water
1 cup sugar
3 large tea bags (or 12 individual) for iced tea (or purchase your choice of pre-made sweet tea)
Fresh mint sprigs
8 lemon slices
Directions: Bring 4 cups of water to a boil. Remove from the heat and add in tea bags. Let tea bags steep for 5 minutes then remove. Stir in one cup of sugar until dissolved. Pour tea, lemonade, and Dixie Mint Vodka into preferred punch serving bowl. Add additional 3 quarts of water and stir together. Muddle handful of mint leaves in a separate bowl and add to punch ingredients. Cover and chill until cool. Fill mason jars with ice and pour in tea. Garnish with mint sprig and lemon slice.
The Biebs face planted against the glass courtesy of a laughing Chris Pronger in the Celebrity Shootout is instantly up there with a an airborne Bobby Orr for best hockey pic ever. Speaking of Bobby, he had a little fun when Bieber couldn't close the deal on a pair of penalty shots against former L.A. King goalie Jamie Storr.
Meanwhile at Torrey Pines big names Brandt Snedeker and Keegan Bradley are battling out at the top of the leaderboard at the Farmers with plenty of other players in contention. We're pulling for Patrick Rodgers to rise to the occasion and earn his first PGA Tour victory.
So, umm, this is apparently an annual yuletide tradition in the Woods household but first time the general population was clued in so we're all still processing.
The holidays are upon us whether you celebrate Golf Christmas, Golf Chanukah, or Golf Kwanzaa. We're filming our next BirdieBox vid tommorrow, a special one tackling one of their holiday boxes. In the meantime we wanted to ring in the season with a little DIY unboxing anticipation vid cheer.
I test drove the TLink, a barely there GPS band worthy of its lofty billing as the world’s lightest GPS watch. Typically I can’t stand wearable golf tech cause they can interfere with my swing, but with the TLink I literally don’t even feel it on my wrist. It’s got a belt buckle clip too if that’s more your style but its really convenient to check yardages when it’s on your wrist
Tap the video below to get more deets but it give you instant yardage to the back, middle, and front of the green from your position on 30,000+ golf courses.
Stat tracking gives you the goods on your greens in regulation, fairways hit, putts per round and more. Its in in app upgrade but you can test drive the feature gratis before you commit to whether becoming Mr. Personal Stat-man suits you.
TLink is quick and easy to acclimate to, doesn’t take much tinkering to be fluent with navigating the device’s trio of buttons and if you accidentally do the watch equivalent of butt dialing ahead or back a hole, getting back to where you want to be is a snap. So if you’re looking for a way to easily track and develop insight into your game, definitely give TLink a look.
So, George H.W. Bush plays fast. How Fast? "We played in about two hours."
Clinton: "Lots of Cuts." When pressed on whether that means a lotta cuts at the ball or cutting corners, Tiger diplomatically repeated his initial assessment of "cuts." As for Obama, he hits it straight. "Hard to hit it crooked when you hit not longish." Start the above vid at 4:20 for the presidential golf bit.
The big time movie star's lifebombing exploits are now legendary from doing the dishes at a random house party to crashing a kickball game, he has shown a knack for popping up when least expected and that just might be your wardrobe.
“The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything,” is the mantra of Bill Murray’s new golf lifestyle brand, William Murray. Teaming up with his bros, incidentally all inductees into the Caddie Hall of Fame, the irreverent brand aims to help the sport loosen up its buttons a little bit. The insignia on the polos is Murray in silhouette flicking his putter in mock disgust at the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am. The actor isn’t profiting from the venture, with his cut supporting the Murray Bros. Caddyshack Foundation. The above pictured Cubbies shirt was limited edition and is already sold out but if you like to knock back an old fashioned on the 19th hole you'll get a kick out of the below polo which is part of the current catalog.
Golf fans heading out to Napa to catch a round or two of the Safeway Open are a little peeved, many buying tickets after Tiger committed to the event which is typically a showcase for players without a firm grip on that PGA Tour card. Jimmy Walker notched his first top tour win here in 2013 and last year Emiliano Grillo grabbed his victory numero uno.
But this time around was supposed to be the return of the mack but el Tigre pulled at the 11th hour just a couple days before the event’s pro-am where he was slated to play with with Steph Curry leaving many fans miffed.
Tiger Woods official statement was:
“After a lot of soul searching and honest reflection, I know that I am not yet ready to play on the PGA Tour or compete in Turkey."
But What’s the Real Reason Tiger Got Cold Feet? Lets count’em down
#6 Caught a real bad case of the Chip-yips, the most embarrassing strain of the debilitating golf ailment.
#5 Kept going back on forth on whether he’s going to go with Mizuno or PXG irons and just couldn’t confidently make the decision.
#4 PHIL-OPHOBIA- He got word of the pairing with Mickelson and I get it, playing with Phil is no picnic
#3 When Jesper Parnevik crowed to Golf Digest that Woods was “flushing everything” he meant at the Bidet Superstore.
#2 Was hankering for some old school Beyonce so was listening to Destiny’s Child and that, “ I don't think you ready for this jelly. I don't think you ready for this jelly,” line really stuck in and hey Safeway sells a ton of Smuckers.
#1 While fetching players turkey sandwiches and performing the other pertinent duties of the Ryder Cup Team’s assistant captain he realized these guys aren’t just really good, they’re incredible.
The sky’s still the limit but when you use “the Force” pulling off high trajectory and on-target fairway wood blasts is a whole lot easier. Thanks to a unique dual slot design, the Air Foil flexes inward on impact allowing the nitrogen embedded in the club head to thrust the face back towards its initial position at incredible velocity. This creates a mighty slingshot effect and coupled with a high launch angle makes getting your golf ball up in the air a snap.
AFO has carved out a niche in the easy-to-hit market (recall our first flying lesson with the DFX), and the nitrogen charged Air Foil’ certainly hits the mark in this regard and you can win you a sash in a ball flight beauty contest. The fairway wood is available in a 15-degree 3-wood and 19-degree 5-wood. The Air Foil rings the register at $149 and comes with an AFO Fujikura graphite stock shaft or you can upgrade to other shaft options for an extra $50.
When Mike isn't repairing impossibly large divots or alphabetizing his impressive ball marker collection, he’s slinging copy for a diverse range of editorial and corporate entities. Clients have included Nike, AAA, Maxim, Esquire.com, Metro, Inside Fitness, Sharp, Huffington Post + tons more. Reach Mike at firstname.lastname@example.org